Thursday, September 29, 2005

Fear!!

What is your deepest fear? That you are inadequate??

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were all meant to shine, as children do.
Its not just in some of us, its in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

This is an snippet from a movie I recently saw. One of the most powerful words I have ever heard. It made me think.

Monday, September 26, 2005

Ethics!!!

What is Ethics?
To me ethics is everything in life. It is life to me, it is honesty, loyalty, integrity, friendships, relationships. Infact it is the air I breathe. I have encountered ethics at home, with friends, with family, with work. It is there all the time. It is very important in life for one to have ethics - professional and personal in life. To me, it is a driving force in what I say and do. It is the reason why people around me listen to me, have faith and belief in me in what I say or do. It defines me and my words and actions have credibility and it develops trust in others for me. As I recently read and quoted in one of my previous posts, "it is more important to be trusted than liked or loved".

Do you have to try to be ethical, is it hard? Did I try and learn to be ethical? Yes. To starters it is very hard. I think twice and make sure what I say to anyone. I know for some, it may just sound like a conversation, for others (my friends circle), it may mean a lot. There is a lot of thought involved in every thing I say or do. On a daily basis, I try not to lie, cheat, or hurt anyone around me. Cause, I know when I lie, cheat or hurt anyone, it hits my conscience. If I inadvertently do cause pain to someone, I do make sure I take immediate action.

Is it worth it? Yes on a personal front, I can count the number of people who have faith and belief in my words and actions, on a professional front, my work has gained the much required credibility.

The problem is that once you are caught to be inethical, it is very difficult to regain the trust, faith and belief for you by others. On a daily basis, it is my sincere effort to learn, demonstrate, and pass on the message regarding the importance of ethics especially to my friends. It unknowingly generates a positive energy which is very healthy and very necessary in order to maintain a relationship with another individual.

Being honest, and ethical leads you into living a good and honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you will get to enjoy it a second time

Bottomline: REMEMBER THAT YOUR CHARACTER IS YOUR DESTINY and ethics is a major part of your character.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Expectation

Expectation is a trait that most of us possess and expect from people we love. We expect from family, we expect from friends. But is it OK to expect from our loved ones? Is it fair for someone you love to expect from you?

Expectations leads to more expectations and more expectations lead to even more. This eventually leads to disappointment. Disappointment unnecessarily leads to misunderstanding, miscommunications etc. A person who truely loves and cares about you will do everything he/she can for you. He/she will not give you an opportunity to expect. He/she will always be there for you.

What if you know that someone is close to you and does not give you what you deserve. Should you be disappointed? No. It is my firm belief that one should not expect anything from the ones that are close to your heart. Yes, even a small thing like Thank you or Sorry from your loved ones would mean a lot to you, but it is not worth feeling disappointed not to get one.

On the contrary, it is my belief to "GIVE" all that you have, all that you possibly can give. Make sure the ones you love are not left expecting from you. GIVING has given me peace, happiness, and most importantly satisfaction in life. And I always do it with immense happiness,not worried what I get back in return. I am left with a sense of immense contentment in life that I have done my duty, whether recognized or not. Expectation gives you none of the above. Giving has given me people who have a lot of trust, faith, and belief in me, which is very important and will last forever.

Bottomline: GIVE PEOPLE MORE THAN THEY EXPECT, AND DO IT CHEERFULLY.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Friendship and Acquaintance

Friend: One who is always there for you, one who does not bother because you are not spending as much time with him/her as you used to do, one who braves to discuss a problem with you directly without any hesitation, one who understands that there is a problem between the two, and works to resolve it, one who yells at you when you may be treading the wrong path regardless of how you take it, one who does not keep personal grudges with you because you knowingly or unknowingly said or did something, one who is never insecure, one who knows that you will always be there for him/her, one who never hesitates to ask you a favor/help, one who truly appreciates and thanks you, one who never wonders what you may think if he/she opened up to you, one who knows that if there was a fight between the two, there is no second thoughts of making up, one who walks up to you and says he/she is there for you, one who asks you if you had a good day and general wellness

Acquaintance: One who “thinks” you are a close friend, one who worries that the you are not spending as much time with him/her as you used to, one who gets hurt at what you said and never dares to question why, one who is nervous to open up to you even if it were to be a very small incident, one who quiets down, when hurt, not letting you know what the problem is, one who is hesitant to ask you a favor/help and expects you to know that he/she needs help, one who expects that you to initiate something first, one who expects the you to apologize first, one who expects you to know that he/she is feeling low, one who hesitates to talk to you about his/her problems, one who needs your presence but does not ask for it, one who has “expectations” in his/her dictionary of friendship.


Quiz

1. How do you know if someone is a friend or an acquaintance?
A: Read the above paragraphs


2: How long does it take to transition an acquaintance to a friendship?
A: Years and years


3: What does it take to have a friend?
A: Everything, your life, your time, especially an effort from your part that lets your friend know he/she is important to you.


4: How do you know if someone can be your friend?
A: You don’t. Don’t even try.


5: Do you look out for friends?
A: No, every opportunity is a half-chance. Don’t talk to people with friendship or any other personal motive in mind. Meet and talk with all with an open mind. Age does not matter. It happens and you will know when it does. But do the ground work. It doesn’t happen out of the blue.


6: What do you do if your friend hurts you in any way, knowingly or unknowingly?
A: Call the person up the next day and tell him/her what an a** he/she has been, and that you are hurt. At that time you will know how wrong or right you are about the other person. Communication is the key.


7: What is importance in a Friendship?
A: Communication and no expectation. Tell your friend what’s on your mind, even if it is associated with your friend. Don’t expect your friend to ask you or know what is wrong for you to open up.


8: What if, your friend breaks your heart after years of friendship?
A: Life moves on, people come and go. Be thankful that you were friends with him/her for such a long time.


9: What happens when expectations come in between friendship?
A: It is your failure, it is your mistake, it IS because of you. Make amends.


10: Is it really worth making friends when you know that they will break your heart at some point?
A: Absolutely, everybody needs somebody. Never give up the effort to make friends. As you grow older, it becomes more and more hard to make friends.


11: Shouldn’t your friend know when you are feeling low, when you need him/her as a friend?
A: Absolutely ridiculous. Do not judge your friend based on that. You run into a chance of ruining the relationship. Always reach out to your friend. There are times when your friend has no clue, sometimes he/she may. Don’t take that risk. Talk about it. Most important DO NOT LIE.


12:What is a friend to me?
A: My life, trust, honesty, integrity, and loyalty.


Friendship doesn’t come easy; you have to give up a lot over a long period of time to gain a friend. Be fortunate if you walk away with one friend from a group of 5 acquaintances.
You want a friend, you work for it. He/she wants you as a friend; he/she will work for it too. By doing so, you will see how friendship blossoms.